Lily's Dream (Siren Publishing Classic) Read online

  Finally, Jake came so hard his balls pulled tight and the condom filled to bursting. When he looked down, her eyes were closed.

  She was unconscious.

  Chapter 13

  Lily was thrilled that her life was once again returning to normal, well, as normal as it ever was with a new job, a recovering mother, a secret lover, and a house in need of repairs. After their explosive encounter the night Lily’s mother was hospitalized, Lily and Jake’s sexual relationship had settled down to a “normal,” albeit still wildly exciting, routine. Several times, they managed to almost get caught by Tom. On one hand, she really wanted to get it out into the open. On the other, there was an excitement that came with the sneaking around. Truthfully, she figured her brother was a real idiot for not having figured it out already. The signs were all there. Another encounter in her backyard, which had Jake pulling out of her abruptly and coming on the concrete next to the lounge chair, made Lily glad she had made an appointment with her doctor.

  After waiting almost an hour past her appointment time, she was finally called back into the exam room. She hated how exposed and uncomfortable she was at the doctor, sitting naked in a paper dress, waiting for someone she didn’t know well to touch her intimately. This was even worse because at least she had gotten a little familiar with her doctor in New York. At least she didn’t have to explain to this lady that she was a virgin before the exam. That would have been embarrassing.

  Dr. Courtney came into the room by herself. She was a comfortable middle-aged woman with a few extra pounds around her middle. That extra weight actually made Lily feel a little better. No one liked it when their doctor was some perfect little health nut. If she was, you knew you were going to get a lecture about something before you left.

  “Hi, Lily. I’m Dr. Courtney.” The doctor held her hand out to be shaken. Her hand was soft and cool, and her grip was reassuring. She looked at the chart. “I see you’re here for some birth control pills?”

  She said it like a question, so Lily answered her. “Yes, I’ve recently become sexually active, and we want to do away with the condoms.”

  “Do you want a full round of STD tests as well?” Dr. Courtney asked as she made a note on her chart. She then pulled up a chair and sat. She looked more like she was getting comfortable for a chat rather than getting ready to do an exam.

  “Well, I can’t have any,” Lily said. She felt a flush work up her neck. “Jake is my first…” Lily didn’t know what to call him. Boyfriend? Lover? Friend with benefits? She settled with “lover.” She thought it sounded more mature.

  “Hmmm,” Dr. Courtney said. She put down the chart and looked at Lily. “Lily, I can see from your sexual history this is all very new for you. I wanted to talk about your birth control options as well as sexual safety.”

  Dr. Courtney went on to explain about sexually transmitted diseases, the need to ensure her partner was fully tested before getting rid of the condoms, how to go about discussing sexual health with a partner, and the different birth control options out there.

  Lily listened patiently and asked questions. She did know most of what Dr. Courtney was telling her, but she hadn’t thought about some of it. She decided it was better to be safe, and she would ask Jake to get tested before they did away with the condoms. They had to wait a month of her being on the pill before they could get rid of them anyhow.

  “Thank you so much, doctor,” Lily said sincerely. “This is a lot of information, and I’ll be sure to discuss it with Jake before we stop using the condoms.”

  Dr. Courtney stood and smiled. “Excellent. I have this conversation with all the young women seeking birth control, but there is a major difference between having it with an adult and having it with a teenager. I applaud you for waiting until you were really in love to have sex. It is better for your heart and your body.”

  “I’m going to do an exam and then give you a prescription.” She picked up the chart, and her brows furrowed. “You put a question mark next to the date of your last period.”

  Lily blushed wildly. “I think my last period started the first night I had sex. It was really light and ended in less than two days, so I’m not sure if it was my period or not.”

  “What was the date of that?”

  After Lily told her, the doctor’s frown deepened. “Lily, you’re still late.”

  “I know. I’m pretty irregular, and I’ve been totally stressed out. My mother just had surgery and…” She trailed off all of a sudden, doubt making her heart thump.

  “In addition to the STD tests, I’m going to run a pregnancy test. We’ll call you by tomorrow afternoon with the results. Wait until you get those results to fill the prescription. In any case, you don’t start the birth control pills until the Sunday after your next period starts so you’ll know for sure by then anyhow. Let me get the nurse in here and get your exam done. No one likes sitting around in a paper dress.” She smiled at Lily as she turned to the door to call the nurse.

  * * * *

  “So,” Derek said, “how are things going with you and Lily?”

  Jake sat back on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table, a beer between his fingertips. That was an excellent question. How were things going with Lily?

  “Great,” he said. While that was true, it wasn’t the whole story.

  Derek’s eyes sharpened. They had been friends too long for him not to pick up that there was more to the story. “Okay, I know you want me to wrangle it out of you, but the Sox game is going to start in a minute, and I don’t want to miss anything. So fess up. What’s going on?”

  Jake sighed. He was actually relieved to have someone to talk things over with. “I’m tired of keeping everything a secret. Tom almost catching us, not being able to go out on real dates, not being able to park my freaking truck in her driveway, ya know?”

  “So why are you keeping it a secret?”

  Jake took a swig of his beer. “Because Tom would be pissed,” he said, but he knew that wasn’t really the truth.

  By the look on Derek’s face, he knew that wasn’t the truth either. “Bullshit.”

  Jake drank again to give himself a second to think. “Fine, Tom wouldn’t be that pissed, and he’d get over it if he was. But once everybody knows, the pressure starts.” Jake spoke in falsetto and said, “When are you guys getting married? When are you moving in together? Awww, you’re so in love.”

  “Dude,” Derek said, “when have we ever said any of those things about a woman you were dating?”

  “But she’s Lily!” Jake got up to pace. “She’s not some piece of ass. She’s a forever kind of girl.”

  “Is that the problem? You’re afraid she’s going to think about forever?”

  “No, that’s just it. She’s not pushing for anything.” Jake got angry just thinking about it. “Shouldn’t she be pushing for more? I mean she was a fucking virgin until we got together. Shouldn’t she be dreaming about white picket fences now?”

  “She has her own white picket fence,” Derek said dryly.

  Jake turned on him. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

  “Maybe not, but it’s a truth. She doesn’t need you to take care of her. She a doctor for Christ’s sake.” Derek paused. When Jake stayed silent, he pushed on. “I think you want to be with her. That you’re the one thinking about forever and that white picket fence. I think you’re scared because, if she doesn’t push for it, maybe it’s because she doesn’t want it.”

  Jake sat down abruptly. He looked over to Derek. “What if she doesn’t want it?” Jake asked, feeling small and insecure for the first time in a long time.

  “I think you need to find out.”

  Derek leaned back and took the television off mute.

  Chapter 14

  “Lily? What’s the matter with you?” Tom asked. “I’ve been talking to you, and you’re not listening.”

  The kitchen was surprisingly gray given that it was the afternoon. The sky was one big sheet of clouds. Lily jus
t said “hmmm” and continued to look out into the darkening sky. “Looks like a storm’s coming,” she murmured.

  Tom took Lily’s arm and turned her away from the window. “What’s wrong, sprout?”

  Lily sighed, thinking about her doctor’s visit the day before. “Nothing,” she said. She had a bad feeling she wasn’t going to get to fill those birth control pills after all. When the doctor had first mentioned it, Lily dismissed it, but the truth was, she had never been quite so late before.

  If what the doctor said turned out to be true, she had no idea how to tell Jake she was pregnant. She would just have to make it clear she didn’t expect anything from him. Any child of hers would be loved. She sighed again.

  “Okay, that’s it. What is going on?” The kindness in Tom’s voice almost did her in, and Lily’s eyes welled with tears.

  Tom pulled her into a hug. “Is Mom okay?”

  “She’s doing really well, actually,” Lily said. “I talked to Trish this morning, and she said Mom’s doing exceptionally well.”

  Discussing her mother helped put her own troubles into perspective. She pulled out of Tom’s embrace, dry-eyed. “I’m fine,” she said with more conviction.

  The phone rang, and Tom turned to get it automatically. “Hello? From where?” As he listened, his eyes shot to Lily. “Yeah, hold on.”

  He held the handset out. “It’s Dr. Courtney’s office. I thought Dr. Reynolds was mom’s doctor.”

  “Dr. Reynolds is Mom’s doctor.” Lily took the handset and walked shakily into the other room. She should have known Tom would follow behind her. God forbid he give her a little privacy.

  Deciding to just get it over with, she said, “This is Lily Richards.”

  “Hi, Lily, this is Francis from Dr. Courtney’s office. I just wanted to let you know the test was positive. Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

  Lily didn’t say anything. After a beat, the perky Francis continued, “I’ll e-mail a list of OBGYNs in the area if that’s okay?”

  “That’s fine,” Lily said. She couldn’t feel her lips.

  “I would also recommend getting some prenatal vitamins from the pharmacy. I’ll include a list of vitamins that are easy on the stomach and with natural ingredients.” Lily’s silence finally penetrated that perky brain. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, thank you,” Lily said numbly, and then she hung up without another word. She didn’t realize she was swaying until Tom grasped her arm and gently guided her to the couch.

  “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it,” Tom said, pulling Lily into a tight hug. His face was taut with fear and determination. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “What?” she asked, still dazed.

  “I asked what’s wrong with you.” Tom kept his voice firm but kind. “Do we need to find a specialist?”

  The fear in his voice finally penetrated. “No, well, yes, but no. I’m not sick.”

  “Lily, don’t lie to me,” Tom said. “I can handle the truth. We got through Mom’s illness. We’ll take care of you, too.”

  Lily put her hand on her abdomen, right over Jake’s baby. “I’m not sick.”

  Tom went white then bright red at where Lily’s hand rested. “You’re pregnant.” His voice was absolutely expressionless. “How far along?”

  Lily thought back to the first night with Jake. “Six weeks,” she said. “Only six weeks.”

  Without a word, Tom turned and left the house.

  * * * *

  Six weeks, Tom thought, a fury unlike anything he’d ever known rising in him. Six weeks had his sister getting pregnant that night she spent at Derek’s house.

  They both had said nothing happened. Derek and Lily’s relationship didn’t seem to have changed after that night, so he had started to believe them.

  Derek had lied to him—bald-faced lied. At least it made sense for Lily to lie. He wouldn’t want to tell her about his sex life. Why should she want to tell him? But Derek had betrayed their friendship in a way that Tom just couldn’t forgive.

  He parked behind Jake’s pickup on the street in front of Derek’s house. Tom walked up the stairs to Derek’s apartment and shoved open the door. He had no idea what he was going to say or do. He was glad he wasn’t in uniform. He didn’t think he’d have gone for his gun, but he was glad he couldn’t. His chest hurt like someone had reached inside and squeezed his heart.

  Derek and Jake were both sitting on the couch with their feet on the coffee table, each holding a beer and staring at the television.

  Derek looked up, puzzled. “Hey, man,” he said, “Red Sox are up three zip.” He finally got a look at Tom’s expression. He stood up and reached a hand out toward him. “What’s wrong?”

  The sight of Derek’s hand brought back the memory of a hot, male hand cupping his balls. Tom’s anger turned from fiery fury into an icy ball in his gut.

  “Why’d you lie?”

  Tom felt like hitting something, like screaming in rage and betrayal, like crying for the end of a friendship that meant everything to him.

  Derek’s face went sheet white. “Lie about what?”

  “Lily’s pregnant,” Tom said harshly. “Six weeks pregnant.”

  There was a crash as Jake’s beer bottle fell from his lifeless fingers and broke on the side of the coffee table. “What?” he whispered.

  Tom didn’t even look at him.

  Derek shot a look Jake’s way then faced Tom squarely. “I didn’t lie. I’ve never had sex with Lily.”

  Tom suddenly felt incredibly weary. He stepped back toward the door.

  Derek reached out. “Tom!”

  * * * *

  Jake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He dropped the beer clutched in his numb fingers at Tom’s harsh statement. Lily was pregnant.

  Before he could wrap his mind around it, Jake heard Derek cry out Tom’s name. Looking at his two friends, he realized that there was nothing he could do at this moment about his relationship with Lily, but he could do something for his best friends.

  Jake stepped between the two men, drawing Tom’s gaze. “He didn’t sleep with Lily,” Jake said, his voice harsh. “I did.”

  “What?” Tom said, disbelief and a twinge of relief in his voice.

  “Lily and I have been sleeping together,” Jake repeated.

  “How long?” Tom asked.

  Jake hesitated. “Six weeks,” he answered.

  Tom’s face flushed. “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?” he roared.

  “What should I have said?” Jake retorted.

  “How about ‘by the way, I’m fucking your sister’?”

  “I’m not fucking her, all right?” Jake didn’t know how to explain how he felt about Lily. He was only just figuring it out himself. “It’s more than that. Besides, I knew you wouldn’t want Lily to be with me.”

  “He doesn’t care about you sleeping with Lily,” Derek said bitterly. “He only cares that the queer doesn’t sleep with her.”

  Both Tom and Jake looked at Derek in shock. “Oh, come on,” he said. “Don’t pretend you didn’t know.”

  “You’re not gay,” Tom said almost desperately.

  “No,” Derek said angrily. “I’m bisexual. But you know that.” He was looking at Tom when he said it.

  Tom flushed.

  “You wouldn’t want Lily sleeping with a man who would touch another guy, right?”

  “That’s not it,” Tom said. “I just didn’t want her sleeping with a guy without really knowing him.” Even to Jake, that sounded like an evasion.

  “Lily knew before either of you guys had a clue,” Derek informed them. “She knew when she was in high school and caught me with my tongue down some guy’s throat and my hand on his cock in a parking lot.”

  Derek sucked in a harsh breath.

  “But you know all about my hand on some guy’s cock, don’t you, Tom?”

  Jake had already figured out that Derek was bisexual. Once he began to suspect, the signs were obvious. H
e even had an inkling Derek was in love with Tom. He had suspected that there had been some kind of contact, but it was still a shock to have it confirmed.

  Tom took another step back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in a harsh whisper.

  “Coward.”

  There was a beat of silence after that pronouncement. Then Tom turned to Jake. “What are you going to do about Lily?”

  “I’m going to marry her,” Jake said with a huge feeling of relief. Now he didn’t have to worry about her not wanting to get married.

  Tom turned and walked to the door. “You’d better,” was all he said before leaving.

  Jake turned to Derek to see a tear rolling down his face.

  “Derek—”

  “If you want to get away from the queer, too…” he said, and gestured toward the door.

  Jake just put his arm over Derek’s shoulders. “Nah,” he said. “Just don’t touch my cock.”

  Derek laughed. He laughed so hard he had to lean over and grab his knees. “Don’t worry,” he finally said. “You’re not my type.”

  “Ouch,” Jake said. Then they looked at each other and both laughed.

  * * * *

  Lily was trying to clean her house. Usually cleaning helped her clear her head and make decisions. This time it wasn’t working. She would start a task and find herself stopping and just staring out into space. Maybe the problem was there really wasn’t any decision to make.

  She was having a baby.

  She knew she’d have to tell them at work. Of course her pregnancy didn’t stop her from being able to teach classes in the fall, but she wasn’t sure what they’d want her to do for the spring semester. She was due at the end of April when classes were nearly over. She would ask for a lighter load the following fall semester when the baby was still tiny. She stopped scrubbing the sink and stared again. A tiny baby. She touched her stomach. She was growing a person right now.